You’re getting to know someone and it seems to be going somewhere good. After a few dates though, contact ceases and you’re left wondering what happened. Here’s why his ghosting is not your fault.

If you've dated in New York City, you've probably felt the pressure to be "chill."

Don't text back too quickly. Don't seem too interested. Don't ask where the relationship is going too soon. Don't admit that you like someone first.

Somehow, showing genuine excitement or vulnerability has become associated with being "too much."

In a city that moves fast and often celebrates independence, playing it cool can feel like the safest strategy.

But over time, constantly suppressing your emotions can come at a significant emotional cost.

Here's why.

Dating starts exciting, then slowly you're rearranging yourself: softening opinions, bending your schedule, making your needs negotiable. If you lose yourself in new relationships, you're not alone, and it's not a character flaw. Therapy can help you understand the older story behind the pattern.